Happy here...

I've been away and well there's a gap.

Click below for the sweetest song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe38GIGYsAY&feature=fvw

Some recent words...

About Jim:

Bloom comes
Straw boaters sail
Those hats
Bristle in the breeze

The long skirts
Brush bare legs
Ladies clutch cardigans
Eyes smile
Special event
Celebrating
The local hero

The tower
It's granite flecks
Sparkle
The swell below

Forty foot deep
And boundless blue
Stand and salure
On that roof
Encompass the view
Circle boundary
Take it in
Breathe the rock, salt & history

So words
How you make & break
Poets & writers alike
Play like waves
Crash in or creep away
Take from the pool
and place it
Here
Pages of sand

Meaning and form
Sit like castles
And then blow away
grain by grain

Just let the flow
Bubble up!
Don't judge
Rather let it work
through
Those light fingers

Is that what Jim did?

Life is not so strange
Yes - there is much to know
but a day can be averagely wonderous...
Here's to Buck & Dedalus.

n.2 . . .

In the midnight heat
these crooked words
flow
To write
To myself
The only subject I know
This life
Living the way I do
I feel caged
Shouldn't this be more?
Less of me, me, me
More universal
Doing what I should
THinking not what I out
Making a mess
Spilling over
Rage, joy
Balance imperfect
Just human.

Playing catch up...

Here's a mash up of recent March & April events...I'm trying to become less verbose and more concise!

I'll try...

My fav pendant necklace from Monsoon...

The new cut & colour...

Margy's Birthday...flowers, cards, Pink lemonade & kimberly bikkies!

Some of the creative team behind La Locandiera: James - Stage Management, Nina - Producer, Tara - Costume Designer & Me - Assist. Director & SM on the roof top of Port House on the final night!

Myself & Claire (Mirandolina) on our Wrap Party night out...Connolly - in the way as always!

Easter Sunday 2009 - 6.30am on Killiney Hill to watch the sunrise - beautiful.

Slightly exhausted but well worth the effort. Alve & myself take in the panorama...

Walking back to Dalkey village - past the Purple House!

Some kind random man took the photo above & below :)

Easter morning back at the Curran abode for the most delicious breakfast of fruit, juice, coffee, pain au chocolat, croissants & mini Easter eggs!

April when the sun comes out = Ice cream weather!

Sandycove, the 40foot and Joyce's Martello tower.

Margy :D

Enjoying the Spring sun...

Hanne's Birthday & House warming party...

The crazy ladies - me & Margy !!!

Vodka jelly...so old skool!

Amazing home made chocolate Birthday cake for the Birthday girl :)

Vodka Jelly maker & the Birthday Gal :)

DUFF Beer :)

Opps - that fell out!

Another perfect way to spend a sunny Sunday - in the park on the grass watching the world go by...

Drumming workshop for the kiddies!

And so for the summary of life of Littlestar - I have a new job! I am blessed/thankful/lucky/a jammy fecker that this opportunity has come together. I do not give myself enough credit for things that I have accomplished but I do also acknowledge that I have been extremely lucky in my life to have been offered the work that I have done to date in the Arts industry. I have many balls in the air at the moment : the new job is alot to take on but I am slowly learning the ropes, La Locandiera has tour dates for this year & I will hopefully go on tour many dates with the show, I have a meeting with PBN on Wednesday in town & I may perhaps be involved in a show in May in the Project Arts Centre. That's the work front!

On a personal level I have started to feel more settled and happy. I have amazing friends and from the above photos we have been making the most of our weekends and good weather lately...I had forgotten how much I love Spring. I have been buying wonderful dresses, taking care of myself more & more, buying shoes and feeling energetic and more assured. I was chatting with my Estonian friend on Saturday and we will definitely meet in Salzburg or in Brussels (where she is moving in early May) in the coming months. Having a secure job & salary means that I can travel again. I also have the promise of a friends coming to stay over the summer: my Welsh and American friends :) Right now I have fewer worries - I can feel that the future ahead is mine for the taking and that this year will bring many changes for the good.

3 addictions in one photo: MP3 player, laptop and one (of too many) bags I have! I can't go a day without any of them!

I am magazine addict!

The remanants of numerous recent shopping trips!

A peak inside my room...

Having a tiny room does not bode well for hanging dresses...

GUNA Deas!

I hope that the week ahead is fun & productive for one & all. I will try & update this neglected blog more often...I'll do my best!

Hugs,

A*

Currently listening to 'Bryn' Vampire Weekend & 'Blow Ins' by Bell X 1.

Just a wee test...

My amazing Easter morning....more to follow...just testing the 'email your blog' entries option!

A*

Moving through a cloud...

Presently - listening to BellX1 'Light catches your Face', Wallis Bird 'The Circle'.

Recent ramblings...

We'll see
Wait and
Fill the time
Chat, tea, emails.
Shops, pub, home.
Friends - old & new
Wait till
So many paths
Collide.
Do I need
This
Or want the
Other?
Future undecided but flexible...

My life for the past 3 months since returning from Salzburg has been like moving through a cloud - at time like a dream, quiet repose and finding myself again and other time like moving through turbulence, rocky, fearing failure and many difficult moments.

And now...now it feels like a crossroads has been reached again. Sometimes I want to step down from taking the direction I should and let someone else decide - but if I don't participate in my own life I'll go somewhere I won't want to be - what's the point in a life lived half heartedly?

Now the show is over. It ran it's course and time to move forward once again. I had a job interview on Monday which I think went well but again I feel I'm just holding my breath...waiting to surface once the result is known.

I have had strange dreams too. Seeing a past love in an embrace - I just wake up wondering what they are up to? A phone call from another past friend ( and past life) conjures up these thoughts and plants the idea in my mind?

I feel out of the loop - my base, my room is so up side down - and the apathetic mood of late helps me in no way. I want to clear away the clutter and not feel like I am just waiting to throw it all into bags & move and yet...I still have this desire to travel again. But money and timing and the world in which we live in do not sem to afford that chance to me at the moment. I miss my far away friends and I know can see how little I cherished my previous time away - I should have thrown myself into things much more and yet working through myself contained problems didn't lend itself to breaking out of my cotton wool shroud.

I am not unhappy.
Just a little off kilter and unbalanced when life is a haze before you - grasping at the air & not knowing whether I will fall or float on.

A*

La Locandiera...the whirlwind experience of theatre!

I've been away for more than three months from this...

Being home since December 21st...below is a photo journal of what I've been up to. Creating & working my ass off for La Locandiera show here in Dublin's Port House. I'm not going to go into all the little stories that made up the journey so far but it's been fun, crazy, laugh out loud, some times draining, exhausting, late nights, copious cups of vanilla caffe lattes, running up & down stairs, on the phone, talking with dead eyes, meeting new people, partying, sleeping all day on Sundays, fixing wigs, washing linen, having my routine flipped upside down, feeling lighter, buying new clothes, feeling fantastic and feeling alive.

The Photoshoot at The Powerscourt Town House Centre for the show...

It's after 2am and I can't seem to sleep...

Just thinking about many things at the moment - how things are for me now 3 months into being home, I saw my sister for the first time properly in two months tonight & that was strange, I discovered more about how the world is folding in on itself as the money dries up all around in the economic downturn, how having a job is now more sacred than ever, that the youth are not aware of the implications of the history they are in the middle of, how connecting with people opens you up to happiness and also disappointment, how many facades of someone you reveal each day you spend with them, comfort eating is not the answer to any troubles, how beautiful Dublin can be when you walk the empty streets at 8am of a Sunday morning after a fantastic night out with the sun blinding you as you walk to the bus stop to discover the first bus is not for an hour - so you sit on a Georgian step, hat & scarf on listening to music while you watch people set up St. Patrick's Day Festival Funfair and sit there tired but happy and a little sad to think that the show will wind up soon & 'real life' will come barging in & all those wants & needs will overflow my mind - but that's for another day.

So now it is Margy's Birthday - we have a lunch date later and then drinks in Dalkey. I need to talk with her - she is my rock & such a great friend - someone who always me smile :) My room is a messy mess and I feel completely uninterested in tidying up everything. I just need to make a plan for the next few months - do I just get a job and move out and start 'living' or do I work a little and then try & get into the MA course? I have options but I want to have financial security and a life on my own terms & move out...I just don't know which way to turn!?

Listening to Wallis Bird...The Circle & Counting to Sleep - How apt!

Night - Hugs,

Amy*

Thinking of home...

This is where I live...and where I shall return to in a eight days time...

One of my favourite shops in Dun Laoghaire...beautiful jewellery and home furnishings!

Harry's Cafe: My favourite place for peppermint tea, pancakes with maple syrup & an amazing home-made muffin for a hangover brunch or food any time of the day...


View of the East Pier with the harbour & Howth in the distance...



Aerial view of Dun Laoghaire with the arms of the East & West piers protecting the harbour...

'Sails' sculpture by the Harbour plaza...

View from the Esat Pier...

Sandycove: You can see the round Martello tower thatis now The James Joyce Centre as this was where his famous Ulysses was begun...

Falung Gong pictured - August 2008.

As part of the Dun Laoghaire 'Festival of World Cultures' each August, the festival takes over the streets, pubs & venues of the town & hosts many free musical gigs & workshops. Amazing!

Christmas lights on the main street!

My trip home 29th Nov - 2nd December...some memories above!

Dalkey is now home to my best friend and 2 other friends of mine..their new house is beautiful and I hope that they all enjoy their time together...I love the 'smoking' sign that Chris has in the hallway!

The Fox clan celebrating my Mum's Graduation with her degree from UCD - Congrats Mum!

Flying back to Salzburg...some final photos above!

I think that you can see whay I am really looking forward to heading home...it is where my family & friends are based (well most of them!) and there is something I miss so much when I am away from the sea for so long...

On the mug: 'Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.' So true :)

Here's another verse or two:

I realise
We are just
Figuring out
How life does
Not
Go to plan
The way you
SEE it
In your mind's eye.

Some days,
Crazy
Laughing fun!
Others - cold
Alone days.
Lazy hazy
Slumber filled.

Pilled up pillows
Water & juice
Pajamas that
become your
Daywear
Where are those
Comfy days?

With a good book
Blankets aplenty,
The phone near by
for evening calls
To rouse from the bed
to plan the evening
ahead?

Had I worked too much?
Too long, too many
hours in Dublin?
A slave to priority
over fun?

I can't say objectively,
But I think I learned
many important lessons
A work ethic,
a sense of pride in
My work.

Talked with family
It's snowing here
and colder than I
remember.

Christmas market,
The waft of mulled wine
and spices.
Oranges with cloves,
Vanilla candles.

Music on a couch
Soft, heads tilted
Eyes begin to close.
Laughter slip-slide
through and on
Up the streets
back to the haus.

Familiar faces
I cook,
I eat cake
and retire to bed.
Lists and ideas,
wander my head.

NB: Many of the photos of Dun Laoghaire I used for this post are un-creadited as I just did a huge search of images on the the internet. So they are not my work but I thank those photographers from flikr & various sites that had their beautiful images online to share with you...but the collage images are mine!

Hope that you enjoyed the photos...I am off to cook dinner, chat with friends, drink some vodka and have a giggle on a Saturday night! :D

Have a great weekend,

A*

Snow days, Christmas Market & a Jazz band...

The snow has arrived here to Salzburg & with it the scent of gluehwien, ginger & cinnamon, the crisp cold air whips at my pale skin, I wrap in layers & layers, scarves & gloves - the weather is so different to that of the sea climate I am used to...Last Saturday Nov. 22 myself & 3 of the EVS posse went to explore one of the Christmas Markets. In the cold & snow we muffled up & wandered round the stalls having some mulled wine & strange sweets...a good adventure :)

Only a few days to go before I head home to Dublin for a short but highly anticipated trip :) I will get to party, enjoy a gig in Vicar Street with my sisters, see my Mum Graduate, see my relations & friends - a jam packed 3 & half days is what I am expecting :) I'm sure that many silly, funny photos will be taken...watch this space!!!

This collage is mostly of the sights & delights to be found down in the Altstadt market at Dom Platz...there are 2 more markets in Salzburg, another at Mirabell Platz and a little further out at Hellbrunn...once I am back from this Dublin trip I will take the time to investigate both & try out the mulled wine & hot treats on sale...the decorations available are nice but unfortunately not things that I can take home so easily...I have to watch how much baggage I can take home! But I'll have the photos. The sepia photo is of Tini Trampler & her Combo band that we (the EVS gang) saw on Sunday Nov. 23 in Jazzit...it was fun, Tini was amazingly funny & kooky and the band were a mad mix of musicians - couldn't think of a better way to spend a sleepy & chilled Sunday evening :)

This main photo is me in my office after reaching work after the market on Saturday...good to be out of the cold but not so great to be working on a Saturday! I like the fact that there is a mini disco ball over Markus' desk...I guess sometime I forget that the staff at my project do have a fun side - but only sometimes! hehe!!

And so on to the 'Leaving Salzburg' issue...well I had German today & told my teacher and then later I met my Coordinator & she has been totally sympathetic to my choice - so all I can say is that I have to speak to my boss tomorrow and start getting things in order...

When I return next Tuesday I have to start organizing my Farewell Party, the Christmas Party & all the paper work, the funding and to arrange the moving out of the haus, closing my bank account here and other such logistical bits & bobs. But you know - it's all good...as I have realized I had to pack up and leave here at some point it will happen a month earlier but what odds?

I have also been applying for jobs at home & being pretty pro-active...fingers crossed! I also found another Postgrad course that I could start in 2009...so many options:D When I felt only a month ago that there was a dark road ahead of me with endless boring days until February I though that fading into a state of submission and dismal apathy was the plan - BUT NO! If I just 'waited' for things to come to me I guess many things I have achieved would never have materialised. So I guess I am taking the 'bull by the horns' - and making a choice to really set the wheels turning to find work & a Postgrad course for Sept next year!

I already felt that I had wasted too much precious time.

Sometimes,

I need to grow up!

Take the reigns,

Grab my Life

By the throat

Saying:

You are working for me

Not against.

You are floundering

Drowning in in-action.

I am here to save you.

With one step, one decision,

You take Life back,

Rescue is here!

And now - no more unknown.

Smething clicked inside,

Last month.

I guess it took longer

To realize:

Leave - Finish.

Time to move on.

Wheels are in motion.

Write my own Life,

Own it.

Make it.

Do all those things

I have wanted for a long time.

And try all those things

I have yet to know about.

Motivation,

Motion,

Movement,

Momentum.

Music of the Moment:

Kate Nash - Mouthwash (courtesy of Szilvi :D)

Bon Iver - Skinny Love

Van Morrison - The Way that Young Lovers Do.

Until the next post - smile!

A*

Making choices...

I wrote the following 'stream of consciousness' back in September:

A month has past,
Three weeks at home,
Walking streets & roads
I know,
Seeing those that know me.

Eating out, drinking a little,
Making dinner.
Ordinary days,
Amazing events.

Seeing new born loveliness,
Seeing those that are
creative beauty in motion.
Hearing new sounds,
News, gossip & jokes.

Hearing those laughs,
Seeing the sea.
Smelling that damp salty air,
Rain on my skin.

Wearing heels and dresses,
Being alive and drinking tea.
Spending time with my relatives,
Making statements,
Understanding incidents.

Wanting information
- Glossy and new.
On-line, in papers, magazines,
Soak it all up.

Wandering 'Chapters'
Going to Leargas:
The walls have not changed their width.
Friendly faces.

The gorgeous cafe with Tom.
Coffee & books,
Dates & my diary -
my travel companion.

Days in my pajamas,
The smell of woodchips
and new paint.
The home 'under construction'.

Harry's cafe for Brunch,
Wallow in the tea, minty.
The maple syrup soaked
friendship in that corner.

The smiles on people's lips.
My owner inner smile.
Dun Laoghaire -
For many glorious reasons
I don't tire of you.

You are part of my make-up.
Dislike,
of you as a whole
Would tear myself in two.

Those shops, old & new,
Wander, wander.
Those three weeks were
My own time.
My bed - rest.
The road - no noise.
The radio - so many new songs.

I have a feeling
That I may never know
All I want to.
But if I risk more,
Be less afraid,
I could do a little more?

Perhaps oportunity would knock
more often?
Stretch myself
I'm too self contained.
I feel that urge to
Break my own mould.

The Inspiration List:

To dance, dance, dance!

Sing,

Paint,

Knit,

Swim,

Draw,

Write poems,

Read plays,

Write a play,

See an all german language play,

Attend more work related events,

Travel more,

Meet more people,

Enjoy each day,

Wrtie this blog regularly,

Find stylish clothes,

Cook more,

Bake more,

Learn to drive,

Own a moped,

Plant herbs & flowers,

Wear fresh flowers,

Own a wee shop

full of books & trinkets,

That would sell cupcakes & iced tea!

Live with friends,

Take walks on a beach

Or in a forrest every weekend.

- Making Time -

Having a person in my life,

to love & love me back,

To take care of each others souls.

Having a bunch of beautiful children :)

Living in Kerry for some time,

Owning a car,

Visiting Christianaia,

Visisting my far flung friends,

Going on sunny walks,

Staying up till dawn

to watch the sun in silence

And then sleep in it's shade.

Going to Cuba with my elder sister.

Road trips with both of my siblings,

Supporting my parents.

Trying to be better,

More calm,

Collected & less stressed.

Trying to care less about poisionous people.

Having a 'Mucha' inspired dress.

Living in Paris for some time.

Watching films that changed the era they

were filmed in!

Being happy with my health & body.

Accepting change - all types.

Writing more letters.

Having a get up & go attitude every day!

Keeping my morals at all times.

Having a good breakfast each day.

- There is no one to impress, that is a fools game -

Being myself & making people comfortable

and smile.

Being honest - always.

Being money wise.

Saving for something really beautiful...

Being open to the world.

Looking after my hair & skin.

- If in doubt, go with your instinct -

Looking at the sky & stars,

they tell us much more

than we'd like to admit!

Be wise and share wisdom with the inexperienced.

Try to be less judgemental of

People, status & situations.

Keep my brain active.

- Optimism is a virtue as is patience, have bucket loads of both for everyone! -

Love the small silly things,

Laugh till I cry & can't breathe.

Rest when I can,

but be pro-active.

Be thankful for all my blessings.

Love myself & know that

it will be wonderful.

- Trying everything is the key -

Try to do all of the above!!!

(I can cross off some already - yay!)

Sometimes the full story is only revealed after a lengthy prologue...

...here's the exciting news:

I have come to the conclusion that I will leave Salzburg in December & not return for the remainder of my project into Feb 2009. I have been struggling with making the choice for a long time but I am ready to leave Austria and head home. My work has not been what I expected and with the many bizzare issues & difficulties I have faced in the past 10 months I feel relieved that I can now stop struggling with my life here. I have talked with close friends like Pipi & DaGang in the past few days and they also agree with my decision as do my family.

I feel that a weight has been lifted...I now just need to get the wheels in motion to complete paper work & the nitty gritty details but everything should be fine.

Ok, so I have yet to inform my work about the choice but that will all come together soon. I have been appliying for jobs at home & I have my fingers crossed for one in particular.

It is very exciting as I now have about 5 weeks to go before I leave - only a few people in my haus know so things will be very quick. I think that is better as I don't want a fuss or a long drawn out farewell hullabaloo. I will return home to Dublin in less than 2 weeks for my Mum's Graduation & take as much stuff as I can with me then - really looking forward to my 3 days at home.

I feel happy and I know that it is the right decison even if it is hard one.

Soon I will be back to this :)

Music of the Moment : Snow Patrol - Crack the Shutters.

Have a wonderful week!


A*